Not too long ago we had a topic on “10 Things U Shouldn’t Tell your Potential Hubby”, and many of our readers agreed that the past is the past… some things are not meant for your significant other to know. Well, yesterday someone hit us up with a serious issue. His fiance confessed to him that she had slept with 28 guys from the age of 20-22! This is what he said:
“im marry this gurl whom at the begnning i thought was about church but when i found out its was all bullchics.. she told me that she slept with 28 guys during the age og 20 to 22 .
please advice me or email me at hardtambo@yahoo.com
i need to hear everyone’s comment .
i kind dont feel that respect for her but she’s sincere with me”
He’s definitely doing a lot of thinking. My opinion: First off, I think this is something she should have kept to herself. BUT, if this is something she felt she should have told him, I’m happy she told him BEFORE they hit the alter, and not 10 years after marriage. What I feel is that his fiance has a guilty conscious, which shows that she’s probably a good person. Because I already know too many females that will lie to their man’s face when asked how many men they have been with previous to them (Which, again, is none of their business anyway!). Overall, I want to tell him that the past is the past, maybe she’s a changed woman. Other problems should be like, “Has she cheated on you?” & “Has she been completely honest with you since you put that ring on her finger” & “Will she wander and do 30 men from 28-30 years old?” lol. To our dear reader, this is the woman that you fell in love with, before you found out about the 28 men she slept with. I say take it to the alter, and forget the past.
What do our fab readers think?
Just be glad that she told him before the big day. I think stuff like this should of been kept a secret if it really did not pertain to him like safety purposes or if she knew that one of the partners had some sort of relationship with him. But at least she came clean and he didnt have to hear it from someone else later on down the line. I dont think it should stop them from getting married.
Good grief that is an average of 9 partners a year
If this was a man it wouldn’t even be an issue
I totally DISAGREE with the comment about keeping “Secrets” from your other half and now your living a lie and the whole relationship can be based on lies. If you are with somebody they should know. Because we all know its a small world and the truth will come out and it’s worst to find out from other people. LMAO @ Homie ‘9 PEOPLE a year’
At the end of the day this is 2009 and you got to be a fool to think if people are not ‘getting it in’ because they are.
keeping secrets and telling lies r 2 totally different things. Some things r just none of anyones business, regardless who it is.
so at this point is it like throwing a hot dog down a….hallway?
I say if this “one thing” is preventing him with fully being with her…he should leave. Shows that he’s not fully committed to her. This speaks more to his character than hers. That he’d be so willing to leave. So what if she has a past…it’s not her “current”. As long as she’s not living the same lifestyle and she hasn’t done anything wrong to him while they were together…and she can’t do anything to go back in time to change anything. Either move on with her or just walk away.
Holy shit. dump that ho. how old is she now? does she have any diseases? 28 guys in 2 years? why? what is her relationship track record like? does she have any friends? haha
You gotta think is it really worth it…28 guys in 2 years has to take a toll on the Vag.
Unless the 28 guys were Asians..
lmao @ DA.. and i like PS8612’s response!
obviously men and women view this situation way differently. I can’t believe men could walk around calling a woman a hoe, and men can screw like 200 women and be okay. EF the double standard!!!!
This is exactly why I am going to wait until I get married until I have sex. *blank stare*
I think a lot of times the double standard is there cause many women accept it and allow it.
I think if that’s the ONLY thing that’s making him think twice, he might need to evaluate if he is really with her for the right reasons. If she does everything right and that’s the only thing making him hesitant, that’s a problem.
On the flip side, if it is his requirements for the woman in his life to not have a lot of partners, that’s his business. Because if he can’t get it out of his mind that she was Loose Leg Peggy for 2 years, then their marriage will probably end up breaking up anyhow if they do decide to go forward.
Obviously she had some good traits for him to decide to wife her, so he just needs to think long about that one. LOL please don’t have any flashbacks like dude in The Best Man while you’re at it.
OH and DEFINITELY GET TESTED. It is not a game for all folks, but especially folks of color.
@big Homie BOY BYE! LMAO
The fact that she tld hm at all, tells you she is a onst persn that you can trust. Homeboy needs tcheckhis ego, Im sre whenhe starts couning that he is no saint!
listen i really appreciate evryones comment on this one .
well actually she’s 24 now , and when i met her she was 22 and that’s when she told me . she’s orphan the only child of her father and her mom abandoned her when she was 9 years old . her father didnt leave a house for her no money in the bank none of that , plus during that time she was younger and non muslim . but after she converted in Islam , things was different she really feel sorry for her past and that’s when she told me .
i can’t even lie , i was really shoked when she told me that . i felt like my heart was about to blow up because she was already pregnant by me . she’s a good muslim woman and trust me she’s honest person . but even though we have a baby boy . i kind dont feel confortable with this issue . please what can i do to get away on this issue? because when i look at this gurl im like DAMN i which she didnt do this in the past .
thanks
im actually from Angola and my original language is portuguÊs , if u ever find some wrongness on my writtin skills please try to understand because i never been to english school , i learned english by listen to music and readin Tupacs lyric.
28 guys between age 20-22?? Lol if she’s 23 years old right now then don’t do it!
2 things:
1) Just being honest. Don’t most women want men to have more sexual partners then them? Since (lets be real) men have to put in more work in the bed than women do(Women..try to pump your hips while in the pushup position and see how long you last…shit is exausting!!). In order for a man to be good in bed(for his wife), shouldn’t he have more partners than his wife? If a man sucks in the bedroom from not having enough practice, would the relationship even make it to marriage? Just asking…don’t hurt me
2) Could she possibly be lying just to test him to see if he’s gonna punk out? I mean, if he really loves her, wouldn’t he go ahead and marry her anyway??
D.S.g.B has a very good point at 2)…maybe that could be the case because honestly men are naturally more prone to not being committed and any little mishap can alter a decision easily..maybe she is testing his heart…
Far as the double standard issue….yes it is not right that men can sex 200 females and be called the man and females that sex 28 dudes be called a hoe but it can only take into significant effect until, YOU as females start taking a dominant voice in opinion and start putting males on blast and call them hoes as well…this is not my best advice because name-calling should not be considered at all on both behalfs..but the name calling from males is possibly never gonna let up..so its up to females to fight back…And honsetly i hate when dudes be in position to always have the privilege of sexing a female and saying she is a freak to other males..maybe she really likes you and wants to be only intimate with you on that level, that doesnt mean shes gonna f**k the dudes you just told…
Love is Love, it’s unconditional. That’s it!