A first date can be nerve-wracking. Women worry about what to wear, how to act, and dread questions that may be asked over dinner (should I lie? Or tell the truth? Is it any of his business?). We can all agree that dating isn’t easy.. we’ve all been through a “perfect” date, where the man will drop you off and you never hear from him again, and we’ve been through horrible ones– where you are ready to leave 10 minutes into the date.
To our male readers, are you wondering why a woman hasn’t called you back after a “perfect” date? Well, here are Allthatsfab’s top 10 things a man shouldn’t do on a first date. (To our female readers, please chime in and add to the list!):
1. It’s always nice to have a man pick you up on the first date, so if you do decide to pick her up, please be on time, not 2 hours late.
2. Most likely the first date is going to be dinner and a movie. Over dinner, keep the conversation going. Silence is… awkward. Don’t talk about past experiences with baby momma’s, or how your last woman did you so wrong, and most of all.. don’t talk about SEX.. This can all wait for a later date.
3. Men, don’t tell your date she can order whatever she wants, and then kind of give her that, “Wow, you eat a lot” look. Don’t comment on how she eats, or how much she eats.
4. A woman understands that you may be a little nervous on a first date, but please don’t try to calm your nerves by ordering too much alcoholic beverages. We don’t want to have to carry you out of the restaurant.
5. When the bill comes, don’t leave it on the table for 20 minutes. We begin to wonder who is going to pay for it. Trust me, we’ve all had situations where we ended up paying the tab on a first date.
6. After the meal ask, “So, are we going dutch..or..??”
7. If the dinner goes well, a woman should be cool with going to a movie afterward. Don’t enter the theater and say something like, “Well you know, since I paid for dinner is it cool if you got this and the popcorn?”
8. In the movie theater, please keep your hands to yourself. Don’t start rubbing the leg or start tracing little light circles on a woman’s back with your fingers. Unless, of course, she’s completely comfortable with it. But most women on a first date don’t like to be touched. You can show a woman you are interested by keeping your hands off.
9. Answer the phone, and have a casual conversation with God Knows Who for 10 minute (This goes for emails, instant messanger, text messages, BBM, any form of communication on a date is rude!)
10. Don’t ask a lady to come by your house after a good date. Take her home, peck her on the cheeck, tell her you’ll give her a call tomorrow, and that’s that.
If the girl is feeling you, and you follow these 10 things you shouldn’t do on a first date, we almost guarantee you’ll see that woman again.
Take it from a man who’s goes on a lot dates.. Always avoid the movies who wants to sit in the theater for 3 hours with silence fellas your wasting time there. Keep it simple go for drinks and see what good conversation and liquor does to her if the convo is good and the liquor gets her open there’s a good chance you’ll score..FYI don’t talk too much there’s always a possibility that you can mess things up remember keep her laughing and keep it simple.
*always a good chance you can score? sit ya ass down somewhere…
People still say that? smh.
Don’t go for drinks everyone is not a drinker or a drunkard. Ask a woman what she would like 2 do. Or take her 2 do something fun where you can interact with one another. Stop trying 2 manipulate women 4 sex! That is sooo lame. We want 2 have sex 2 but with someone that is appealing 2 us on all levels! Stop acting like women are something 2 be conquered, we are not the enemy! If you are looking 4 just sex do like the rest of the freaks & go 2 the strip club or hire an escort if you that broke go find the two dollar hoes that stand on the street corners at night! Stop being cheap nothing in life comes for free. And if you don’t work you are 2 broke 2 afford a woman on any level of relationship anyway! lol
This is so dang true….argg men I tell you lol
Had to respond to ladies comments especiallty the sweet pea in regards to the word she kept using broke.
Every female you meet or go out with is not someone you want settle down with.So a lot times I meet women and i put them in the fun box this mean the woman you can bring to an event have some drinks good convo and than potentially have sex with and thats all she is i’m quite sure women do the same. Now being broke has nothing to do with this see thats the whole thing when you get to a certain level you deal with a certain level of a women and without mentioning money she already knows your not broke for example if she’s about her business she could tell by your convo places you take her out and just your overall swag money should never come up. You were right about certain women that dont drink what you do in that case is a nice quiet dinner than off for a walk somewhere sexy that can potentially lead to a brother getting somewhere.
Ladies i’m just being honest and most of you already know this you meet a man for the first time and his intentions is are too have sex that all changes when you open your mouth depending on what you say and how you act you get treated accordingly.
“Ladies i’m just being honest and most of you already know this you meet a man for the first time and his intentions is are too have sex that all changes when you open your mouth depending on what you say and how you act you get treated accordingly.”
I agree with that statement, for the most part. We’d be naive to assume otherwise. Men treat us according to what we put up with and how we expect to be treated. I think it depends moreso on the female, and not the guy. The same guy who may wine and dine female #1 then introduce her to his parents may just hit and quit female #2 because of how she acts and how she expects to be treated
-For the first date don’t go to the movies. After dinner go somewhere else where you can continue the conversation. If you want to go to he movies let that be after the 1st date. Be mindful of your dates taste.
-If you go to a restaurant go somewhere different you wouldn’t ordinarily go to. If you eat Southern food all of the time why not try Thai for once. Don’t be afraid of other kinds of food. If you’re in New York may I suggest “yakiniku west”. You take off your shoes, sit at a low table and grill your own food. It’s pretty cool.
-If you want to go somewhere low key and don’t want to run into your friends, coworkers or an ex try a new spot that you know for a fact people from your neighborhood won’t go. Don’t go to common areas that everyone knows about. If you don’t mind if you run into people then by all means ignore this. One spot I like is Slate in NY. You can have dinner then go play pool or pingpong while listening to good music on the lower level. I love it there. Go to Riingo or Japonaise for sushi. Try a rooftop bar in the summer. Go to City Island for seafood and sit outside to enjoy the sun.
-Don’t be turned off if you see people you wouldn’t ordinarily hang out or associate with. Be open. Live a little and don’t be intimidated. On the outside the place may look wack but once you go in you may be surprised. I say this because I went out with a brotha once and he didn’t want to go in because he saw a bunch of white people outside. I was bothered because he wasn’t open to different things. Its 2009 who cares what anyone thinks and you have every right to be there.
-DO NOT stare at other women. Keep the focus on your date. If you feel the urge to look let it be a glance not a glare. It’s disrespectful to stare.
-When picking the first date think out of the box. If you have the money do something exciting. Trapeze class at Chelsea Piers (if you’re in NY), Indoor rock climbing, rollerskating etc.
-Go to the park and talk for a bit. This eases the nervousness. Then you can head over to dinner.
-Don’t pick up your phone during the date unless it’s for an emergency. Not because ya boy needs to borrow your car or return something to you. Save that for later and respect the lady. Put it on vibrate. Don’t tweet during your date either.
-Don’t dress like sh*t. If you’re going somewhere nice. Don’t come wearing a gold chain or an outfit like you would normally wear going to the local bodega. Come on if you’re woman took time to prepare you should to. I’m not saying dress like Kanye or anything but take a little pride in how you present yourself. Don’t have your jeans sagging to your ankles with a belt around it. Clean your nails no one wants to see dirt under your finger nails.
-I don’t want to hear about your ex. She’s in the past and tha’ts where she should stay…in the past!!
-On the first date don’t tell the woman your demands: I want my woman to cook, clean and mop the floors etc. It can be a turn off. If she says it first then of course you can continue the convo but don’t bring it up.
-Feel your date out (not physically..lol). When she speaks if she’s not cursing try not to do it…at least on the first date. If you hear her cursing then I guess it’s ok if you two are alright with that. Every other word shouldn’t be “n***a” try not to use that word. Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your male friends. I’m a lady treat me that way. Be yourself but try not to be offensive.
-DO NOT talk about future plans with this woman if you have no intention of seeing her again. It’s misleading and it’s not fair to string her along. Think about it would you like that to be done to you? I respect a man that’s honest. I went on a date and the guy told me he was seeing someone else and had no intention of settling down. I wasn’t happy to hear it because he was so FINE but I had to respect him for telling it like it is. I knew I didn’t want to deal with that situation.
-If you’re interested tell her that. Let her know you are feeling her and would like to see her again. Don’t lie and play games..seriously. It’s not cool.
-Always, always check on the lady to make sure she got home ok. Even if things went wrong you should check on her out of respect. Be a man. If she doesn’t appreciate it and is rude then she’s not the one for you and you can move on to the next chick.
CORRECTION:
-Don’t be turned off if you see people you wouldn’t ordinarily hang out or associate with outside of a bar or restaurant….
sorry for all of the typos…but you get the point.
hahaha lol very funny picture
Yeah I agree with Aura. Women sell themselves too short (I’ve been there). It’s still amazing that men’s minds are on sex that much. I feel sorry for the men that take me out to dinner and the movies and think he’s getting some. I’m worth waaayyy more than a dinner and movie. To be honest, a lot of women are doing well today so we don’t need a man for trivial expenses. Even substantial expenses.
A mature woman that’s looking for a serious relationship looks for a successful man who has a good overall package: Is he spiritual? If he is then he isn’t going to be the type trying to hit and quit it. That’s for ungodly men. Now if the woman wants the same it’s ok. But if you are leading a woman on to believe you are serious, etc. and lying to her then you are not ready for a mature, serious relationship. But that’s why women need to be smart enough to decifer the men from the boys.