Break-ups or Divorces are very hard to go through, especially when there are children involved. Imagine being pregnant and dumped, now that could send a woman to the looney bin. Imagine picking out baby clothes, choosing a name, and counting down the days until you deliver; then suddenly your man dumps you. WHAT DO YOU DO? During pregnancy you are highly emotional, everything seems like the end of the world. It’s easy for a guy to just bounce out, but you are stuck with a child…
Life is full of ups and down, but it has to suck to be single and pregnant. This doesn’t just happen to normal folks, but this problem also effects some of our favorite celebs. Jill Scott and Kelis always appear to be strong confident fab females, but they are victims of the pregnancy break-up/divorce. Jill recently sat down with Essence.com to discuss life as a single mother…
Jill Scott: He was there and for a couple of days afterwards while I stayed in hospital, but John and I are no longer together. When you have a baby you’re dealing with a lot of emotions and I don’t know how much of it had to do with us breaking up, but it happens. My heart and prayers go out to all single moms because it’s tough. I don’t understand how any mother does it alone.
Kelis is in a rough battle dealing with Nas. Nas refuses to support his future ex-wife, in any type of way. It’s rumored that he cheated on Kelis while she was pregnant. This is the second time Nas has decided to be an absent father. He has a daughter with ex-girlfriend, Carmen Bryan, who wrote a book about her life with Nas.
AllThatsFab.com asked some of our readers what they thought about this topic. Check out what they had to say below:
Jessica K. – “I think that is the cruelest thing a man could ever do to a woman. My child’s father left me after our son was born. I probably would have broke down if he left me during the 9 months of carrying his kid.”
Antonio O. - “There is not right time to end something. So why should I wait till the baby is born. We should be focusing on the baby and not are personal issues when he/she comes into the world.”
Tanisha M. – “You shouldn’t be having a child with someone who could so freely be willing to bounce. You can’t always blame the man, women are crazy during pregnancy. It’s highly disrespectful to get dumped while your pregnant, but I rather you leave now then later so I can piece my life together without you in it.”
There isn’t a book out there that can help you deal with a break-up while pregnant. Women should always turn to others during this time. No one should have to deal with this on their own. Stress is the worst thing to have during pregnancy, so being around friends and family is always the best bet. Life goes on after any break-up, never forget that. So now fab readers what do you think of this topic? We want you to sound off an let us know how you feel..
I was left by myself when I was 5 months pregnant. The father, who I refer to as ’sperm donor’, let it be known that he was not going to support his child. It did suck not having anyone rub my feet, but my pregnancy went well and my life is wonderful without him. In fact, I don’t miss his presence. If the guy is that much of a coward to not want to take care of his own children, then its best that he leaves in the beginning. It is hard being a single mother, but its better than staying with someone who can care less about you and the child. Someone better will come around who loves you and your baby.
Good luck to all, the storm will end and the sun will shine through soon…
The sad part of this is you really can’t make a man do something that he does not want to do. At the end of the day if you feel as the situatuion will no longer work between you on and the other person. You have to put aside those differences for the better intersest of a child. My father was not present in my life, so i said i would make sure i was a present factor in my child’s life. Women if you go through this, at the end of the day you just have to be strong. My mom raised 2 kids, worked and went to school. They were rough times, i had to take on more responsibilities than most kids at a early age. She went on to find someone that loved her and took care of me and my brother as his own.
I was left at 5 months for another man. It was the worst time of my life. I thought I would never overcome. I would cry daily pray daily. My world was spinning. He turned it around and put the blame on me. My daughter came out angry and stayed angry. She is now 26 and still angry. He never was in her life. Not one bday card. He never acknowledged her. I understand the anger. I carry this with me. Only God get could pull us through things. That part of my life taught me what I didn’t want in my life, but my daughter was the one who paid.
I am 2 months pregnant, and my boyfriend and I were talking of separation when we became pregnant, which was fine by me (and him at the time). Now that there is a baby in the picture, he wants us to work-out and is working hard to make that happen. But I don’t. I know I’m at my best when I’m alone and baby inside is mandating that I make a consistently happy and peaceful home now, in the way that I know best how to. I’m not afraid. I know I’ll meet someone else. And I know I’ll give my child the best of everything cause I have so much love for this little one, even if I don’t have a lot of money. Its only confusing cause he refuses to let go. I’ve given him an option to co-parent, for us to find a happy medium here in which we are communicating well, sharing the responsibilities, and showing the child an honest and mature relationship albeit an unorthodox one, but he wants us to be together and is crushed I would walk out on him, pregnant! I feel bad, but, there’s bigger things at stake now then his sadness and my guilt.
Its a new day ladies, we are no longer the ones who get left. Its time to leave them. And find the true love of our lives that is slowly awakening within us.
i am currently separated from my husband and am 34 weeks pregnant. we separated when i was only 15 weeks along and it was the most heart breaking thing i’ve ever experienced. going to the birthing classes without him has been aweful because i am the only person there who doesn’t have their doting, loving partner with them. not only do i feel sad about this, but the midwives running the show seem to have little consideration..i’ve felt so alone in this experience and have started searching for people in similar circumstances…
at the end of the day, nothing can take away the joy of meeting my little girl…no matter what is going on in my life, i have something positive to look forward to. it’s an unfortunate situation, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. there will still be hard days and nights, but if we keep moving forward, all these trials and tribulations will be worth it one day.
I too have been abandoned and am currently three months pregnant. My ex said he would support the baby, but so far his support has consisted of turning up drunk at all hours in the morning wanting sex. I am thousands of miles from my family and my homeland.
My pregnancy is very,very high risk and I have to work full time to support my other two kids and pay the bills. I have never felt so sick and emotionally drained in my whole life. Every day is such a struggle just to get through it.
I found a condom wrapper in his bag and receipts for a lot of bars. So looks like he has been having fun. I have finished with him but I am hurting so, so much and have no idea how I shall get through this all alone.
I have no paid time off and even if I work like a crazy thing until my baby is born I will have only 14 days home with my baby before I go back to work. That is just impossible for me to do.
I am trying to organize going back home so my family can help me but it is so very hard. I feel like a total failure crawling home like a sad looser. I worked so hard to stay in this country and made so many sacrifices and for nothing.
I do want my baby and I absolutely want to have my baby I just wonder how I shall get through the heartache of being treated this way. How on earth do women get through the heart ache and pain of doing this alone when the world seems to be full of happy couples?