What Kind Of Relationship Attachment Do You Have?

Every relationship is different, but the best relationship experts have come up with three ways in which people “attach” in a relationship. It is called the attachment theory and I find it very interesting. If you are more aware of what category you fall in, you are headed for a better life.

The three categories are anxious, avoidant, and secure. The stats on this according the the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology assert that 20% of people fall in the anxious camp, 25% fall into the avoidant camp, and everyone else (55%) rests in the secure camp. Journey with me to see where you stand.

Anxious Attachment

Some might call this group more needy, clingy, or codependent. If you have an anxious attachment, you are anxious a good bit of the time- especially when you are not with your partner. You crave their presence continually, thus you might get termed “needy”. You get anxious when your partner doesn’t call or text you back immediately, you are very sensitive to your partner’s moods, and you don’t like creating conflict. However, you do create conflict because that gets attention from your partner. You also don’t communicate well.

Avoidant Attachment

Those who have avoidant attachment love their independence. They want intimacy, but they are afraid that if they go after it, they will lose their freedom. People in this camp tend to feel smothered or apprehensive when a partner wants to get close. They want deep connections but put a wall up. They repress their desire for intimacy and keep the partner at arm’s length. They get annoyed easily at little things.

Secure Attachment

Those in the secure camp do pretty well in relationships. They are great communicators and know how to treat their partner. When conflict arises, they tend to stay calm and openly discuss the situation. They like intimacy and invite it as often as they’d like. They like for their relationship to grow, so they invest in it on a regular basis. They are secure in themselves and this helps tremendously in a relationship.

It would be nice if everyone fell into the secure attachment group, but that is not the case. The good news is that you can shift your attachment style if you invest in growing, learning, and changing. It will take some work, but you can do it. Both anxious and avoidant attachment camps ought to be trying to become more secure. You can do so by investing some time learning about relationship dynamics.

For a happier life, go ahead and purchase some books on relationships and educate yourself. If you fall into the Anxious Attachment group, you’ll want to read up on codependence to try to change some of your thoughts and behaviors. If you fall into the Avoidant Attachment group, read up on relationships advice books by experts and professionals in the field. One of the best books I’ve read that helps relationships is The Five Languages of Love. It is a must-read for everyone.

As you invest in personal and spiritual growth, a better relationship and a better life will be a byproduct. As you journey toward becoming whole and secure, all of your relationships will improve. There are so many people who have relationship problems their whole lives but never make an effort to get some good relationship advice. When something is not working, do something different. Change requires effort. Relationships ought to flourish! You can have a happy life.

Photo: Pixabay

More

How many couples do you know who are truly happy? Sure, everyone seems happy in the beginning-- but how many of them settle into lasting happiness...

Conflicts are bound to occur in an intimate relationship. It’s difficult to go through life with the same person without having some sort of...

People usually decorate their homes in a way that speaks of their personalities. That is why you see some houses are decorated frugal, sleek,...

Have you heard the song “I’m Sexy And I Know It?” It’s kind of catchy and comical at the same time. Do you ever wish you would come across as sexy...

Just like individuals can have bad habits, couples can get into bad habits. There are a few bad relationship habits that can ultimately lead to...

Latest Fab Stories

Confidence is beautiful. Confidence brings peace of mind. Confidence is feeling good about yourself. But do you have it? Ask yourself these...

It's an old saying, but it is inevitably true. Opposites do attract. This may actually be an imprint from our cavemen ancestors who were driven to...

No matter how much you love your little darlings, sometimes they can really put your parenting skills to the test. Five things will help you...

It’s that time of year again – the holidays! The holidays can be a very stressful time of year for everyone. Are you the one who got stuck with (...

If you have been thinking about getting into shape or you want to stop going to the gym to workout, consider creating a gym in your own home. It...

All sibling rivalry and family arguments aside-- if you grew up with a big sister, you're probably luckier than you realize. There are a lot of...

Our homes are extremely special for us and hence we do our best to decorate them to the best of our abilities. What can add a touch of glamour is...

That pregnancy glow and the joy that comes along with creating a life are mostly what comes to mind when one thinks pregnancy. What they don’t...

So you just met someone at a party or you’re on a first date and you wonder if they’re into you. How can you tell? Chances are you already have an...

Mary Coales, a 63-year-old Cambridge graduate, says that wearing her Aaronia Shield is the only way she can protect herself from radiation caused...

If you haven't tried Samsung devices yet, you don't know what you're missing. After releasing smartphones just over ten years ago, the high...