No one grows up thinking they’ll go off and get married only to see that marriage fails. In fact plenty of people- especially women- grow up dreaming about their fairytale wedding and happily ever after. They certainly don’t imagine that their beloved marriage would turn into constant arguing and misery.
It’s estimated that about half of marriages end in divorce. On top of that, some spouses stay together but live in misery. They’re not happy but they stay together for one reason or another. Should they? Is it wise to stay in a marriage if one or both spouses are miserable?
Because of the children. Many couples stay together solely because of the children.
They don’t want to hurt the children and break the family up.
It is wonderful if parents can have two parents in the home, but if the atmosphere is miserable, it’s not doing anyone any good. Relationship experts state that the best thing for a married couple to do when they are thinking of splitting up is to see a counselor for a period of time.
Many marriage problems can be solved through counseling.
It might not become bliss overnight, but over time the marriage can grow and become good again. This is the best thing to do for the children and the couple. If marriage counseling doesn’t work, it is probably best for the couple to split up rather than to live in misery.
Fear of being alone.
Fear is another reason why married couples stay together. One or neither of them may want to be alone and contend with life alone. Living in a state of fear doesn’t do any family any good. Once again, try counseling first and if that doesn’t work, consider working through the fear of being alone and separate. You might find out that being alone is just what you both need for awhile.
Sometimes spouses stay together because they don’t want to feel like a failure or look like a failure in the eyes of others if they divorce. This is not a good reason to stay in a marriage. If you’re not being true to yourself, it can cause you to feel sad, depressed, frustrated, and so on.
It’s a tough decision to stay or end a marriage.
Each marriage is different and has different dynamics. The best thing to do when facing this situation is to get some professional help. Marriage counseling has proven to help many couples work through their issues. If your marriage is teetering back and forth or you’re thinking that it’s time to end it, talk to your spouse about counseling.
Commit to it for a few months or longer. Some couples spend a year or more in counseling working on their relationship and the effort tends to pay off. You don’t have to live life miserably and your marriage doesn’t have to be awful. Do what you can to work through the issues.